Talking about difficult topics such as safety with young children can be intimidating. Parents worry about possibly saying the wrong thing. It doesn’t need to be. With some thought, adults can help children feel safe and in control of their feelings.
Here are a few key things to remember:
No matter the topic, be it a lockdown drill, a tragedy on the news, or a notice about a sexual offender, much of the language one uses to talk with children is the same. It’s important to keep all your language and explanations developmentally appropriate. Keep it simple, and keep it short. You don’t want to overwhelm with details.
Brief explanations that let children know that adults are taking care of them and that it’s not their responsibility to makes situations safe are best. Examples include, “Adults are working hard to keep you safe.” “Your principal’s job is to make sure everyone at school is safe and knows what to do in an emergency.”
Children will let you know when they need more information. Making yourself available for further conversation will allow you to assess whether your child requires more information or explanation. Be available in quiet times and allow for open ended conversations so children feel comfortable bringing up concerns if they need to do so. Be open to these times.
If your family is affected in some way by some sort of violent of concerning event, it’s important to keep up a regular routine so that the rest of the child’s life remains as typical as possible. This allows children to keep their minds on their own lives and focus on developmentally appropriate activities.
If the concerning event is televised, limit exposure as much as possible. It’s also important to try and keep children from overhearing adult conversations about the event as much as possible. Continued exposure to a traumatic event can cause difficulty for a child, and overhearing adult conversations that are not appropriate for children can scare them and cause confusion.
Adult anxiety can affect children’s anxiety. Remember, that in general, we are vey safe and that it is unlikely that a violent event will occur. Remind yourself, and you do your children, that people are taking care of safety issues and that safety precautions are in place.
If you do feel that your child is becoming negatively affected by a concerning event or fear, look out for changes in behavior, appetite, or sleep patterns. Changes may indicate an increased stress level. Give your child some outlets for expression such as drawing, reading picture books, and talking. If you feel that your child is exhibiting increased stress, you may consider seeking out professional help for your child.
